I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
