hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
