i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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