I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
