dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dignity is for republicans.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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