we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
