no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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