If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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