I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This gyro tastes like lonliness
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
