pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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