On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
BRING THE BAGELS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize