i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I smell like Dick and happiness
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
