why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
