im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
