you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
