Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
