Betty ford says i'm here all night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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