i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
