Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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