How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
