Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
