I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You are a genius and a whore.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
