just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
