either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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