and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
