But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
