i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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