she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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