my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize