It's Friday. Sex?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
God, I missed his penis.
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