i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
