My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
