His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
