reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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