Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
