what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize