I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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