chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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