im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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