He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
