She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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