Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
