Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
