I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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