I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My ATM looks so different sober.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
