Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
