im drinking this country out of the recession.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
