Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
