o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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