So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
