I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
