haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
