my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
