just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
