You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
