Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
