ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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