he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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