sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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