she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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