Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
