all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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