just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My pussy is not your playground.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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